The Interview – The Gingerbread Man

Interview your favorite fictional character.

The Gingerbread Man
The Gingerbread Man

Nick takes a deep breath & forces his way forward through the thick crowd of journalists & photographers. His time has come, this is going to be his big break.

The victim of a violent & unprovoked attack is finally strong enough to talk to the press & Nick has been granted exclusive access to interview him about his ordeal.

Excitedly clutching his smartphone ready to record everything, he takes his place at the bedside of ….. The Gingerbread man.

Nick: “Hi Ginge, I’m Nick & I’m here to get the full story of your terrible experience. Do you feel up to sharing it with me?”

Ginge: “Go for it Nick. I’m feeling pretty bad but I want the world to know just what happened to me.”

Nick: “So first, I understand that your family has quite a history.”

Ginge: “Yeah, that’s right. We go all the way back to the 16th Century.”

Nick: “And your ancestors had royal connections, is that right?”

Ginge: “Absolutely, Queen Elizabeth I was very fond of our kind & had them dress up to look like some of her most important guests.”

Nick: “So, tell me Ginge, how on earth did you come to be in this terrible mess?”

Ginge: “Well it all started like this … There was this old woman, she didn’t have any kids you see, & she kinda got it into her head that I would make the perfect son. Now I don’t mean to be unkind or anything but there’s no way I’m spending my formative years shacked up with some old dear & her senile old man. So I legged it out the door & up the road.”

Nick: “But things didn’t go to plan, did they?”

Ginge: “You can say that again. It was like all the world & his brother decided it was their business to mess with my plans. Suddenly they’re all after me, yellin’ & screamin’. So I yelled right back, Β ‘I ran away from the old woman & I ran away from the old man & I ain’t going back, ’cause I’m the gingerbread man.’ But they just kept right on after me.”

Nick: “So what happened next?”

Ginge: “Well I made it to the woods & I guess they all lost sight of me so I slowed down a bit. I’m not so good at running, you see, I ain’t got no toes.Β Then I came to a river & I was kinda stuck until this young fox comes along & offers to take me across on his back. I couldn’t believe my luck.”

Nick: “Weren’t you a bit scared?”

Ginge: “Well yeah but I was more scared of the lunatics behind me so I jumped on. He took me into the water & almost to the other side but just before we got to dry land he tosses me up in the air & … Snap! My first arm was gone. I tried to get away but he was too strong & fast. Then he tosses me up again & … Snap! My second arm was gone.”

Nick: “You must have been terrified.”

Ginge: “I was. I was wishing my old uncle from Smithville could’ve been there to help me. He was a giant Texan, weighed almost 600 grams & was over 6 meters tall. What a cookie, he would have seen him off.”

Nick: “So how did you manage to survive?”

Ginge: “Well after the third toss I was ready to meet my maker, he had taken my legs clean off, when all of a sudden the crowd that had gathered to chase me arrived at the river’s edge & started throwing stones. The fox had just thrown me up in the air ready for the last gulp when a stone cracked him on the head & he took off, leaving me to fall to the ground.

Nick: “Well that’s an amazing story Ginge. What are you planning to do now?”

Ginge: “As soon as I get out of here I’m gonna get me a bottle of ginger wine & get completely legless. Not that I’m not already. Ha, Ha.”

Nick: “Well you seem to be taking all this in very good spirits. Do you feel that after this experience you will become a more aggressive person?”

Ginge: “Who me? No, not at all. After all I’m completely ‘armless now. Know what I mean?”

Nick : “Yes Ginge, I think I do. Goodnight & thank you.”

The Interview

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19 thoughts on “The Interview – The Gingerbread Man

  1. This was funny stuff, I got a ping back with your post so I’m not sure if you sent it. I don’t really know how all that works or I would have read this sooner. That deserves Kudos from WP, btw, but anyway. I’m a follower now looking forward to part 2 from Ginge, lol. Shazza

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    1. Wow, I’m really glad you found it so funny. The ping back was from me so thanks for following it back. I like to have links to all the contributions on my posts to make sure everyone else’s get read. I hadn’t thought about a part 2 from Ginge but now as you’ve mentioned it I might just think something up. Really nice to meet you, thanks for following πŸ™‚

      Like

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