Some years ago I worked as a porter for the x-ray department in a London hospital.

We worked in pairs because it would sometimes take two of us to move a bedridden patient.

While I worked there I was partnered with a guy called Tim.

One day Tim & I were sent to collect a certain Mrs Cocks for her x-ray appointment.

Our route took us via an ancient elevator with big, old iron gates that often broke down.

On this particular day that’s exactly what it did & we spent 20 minutes or so stuck in the lift,

with this delightful old lady.

She was a total dear & chatted away happily, about all sorts of things,

completely unperturbed by our plight.

At some point Tim looked at her file & noticed the spelling of her name.

“That’s an unusual spelling”, he said, “isn’t ‘Cox’ usually spelled with an ‘x’?”

“Ah, now there’s a funny story”, she said grinning all over her face.

She then proceeded to tell us all about her name.

It seemed that many years ago when she was a young woman in love,

the object of her affections finally plucked up enough courage to propose to her.

She loved him very much & was absolutely delighted.

Only one thing marred her joy.

Her prospective husband went by the name of Mr. Cock.

She agreed to the marriage on one condition, that Mr Cock would,by deed poll,

add an ‘s’ to the end of his name so that it sounded more like the conventional,

well-known name ‘Cox’.

“But why was his name such a problem?”,  asked Tim.

“Well …”, answered Mrs. Cocks, chuckling, “… my given name just happens to be Ophelia,

& there was no way I was going through life called Ophelia Cock !!!”

And that peeps is absolutely true …

… and for my next trick …

Elevator