When faced with confrontation, do you head for the hills or walk straight in?
Was there ever a time you wished you’d had the opposite reaction?
I try to avoid the need for confrontations & generally I succeed, but sometimes life just throws them at you & if that happens I usually meet them head on.
I used to be a shy, silent, mousy little thing, full of ideas & inspiration but rarely sharing it with the outside world. My first husband was a very strong-willed, charismatic type, who attracted lots of friends & admirers. As he did all the talking I usually busied myself providing refreshments or sat quietly at his side listening to whatever debate was going on. Sometimes he would have a major disagreement with someone & I would be shocked at his ferocity.
After having some life-changing experiences of my own I changed. I realized that keeping quiet was not always the best or most honest way to deal with things. I have no wish to offend for it’s own sake but if someone gives me no choice I am now more than happy to tell it how it is. Fortunately this rarely happens. I now find myself totally intolerant of some things, discrimination due to race, creed, sex, age or ability for instance. The abuse or manipulation of people unable to defend themselves is another.
My first husband was black & my kids & grand-kids are, of course, mixed race. My eldest was born with a difficult & visible condition. I’ve had to deal with some real idiots over the years, but I have always tried to bring them up to my level, instead of steaming in with reciprocal abuse. It usually works, most people are apologetic & embarrassed when quietly & calmly ‘put right’. Those that aren’t are simply ejected from my universe after I’ve finished ripping them apart.
For the last point, yes, every time I fail to communicate with someone I am convinced that if I had approached them differently, maybe we would have been able to understand each other better. But as my current husband keeps reminding me, that’s not necessarily true.
More responses to fight or flight on the next page …