Daily Prompt, Images, Poetry

Never: Never Say Never

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Pages: Page 1, Page 2

11 thoughts on “Never: Never Say Never”

  2. Pingback: I Never Write About Sex | The Jittery Goat
  3. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Never | Bastet and Sekhmet
  4. Pingback: Daily Prompt: The Forbidden Fruit of Life | My Daily Prompt Blog

  6. I wasn’t expecting the last line (“that fear does the forbidding”). Reminds me of my favorite ending in a book or movie (when comes as as a surprise, but in hindsight, I realize it’s a perfect ending because, given all that went before, it couldn’t have ended any other way. P.S. I’m no poet, so please consider the following a suggestion from somebody who doesn’t know shit, but what would you think about removing the “I” from the 4th line to make it “& wouldn’t want it hidden”? The “I” is understood, but it adds an extra beat which causes an ever-so-slight glitch in the flow of the otherwise ever-so-smooth 8/7/8/7 syllable pattern (gives 2 8’s in a row, which may have been intentional, but when I say it in my head, throws the beat off a tad. Keep in mind, though, that it could be my head that’s off and not the beat of the poem).

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    1. Funnily enough that ‘I’ went in & out a few times. I just couldn’t make my mind up. I managed to make it work in my head but I was worried that it wouldn’t work for readers. There is no way to be certain whether a reader will be comfortable with a trip or not but now that I’ve had an objective response from you I have finally removed it forever. Thanks for the very constructive criticism. Such stuff is priceless 🙂

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      1. It did, occur to me, however, that such an off-beat moment COULD be intentional to cause the reader to pause there so please DO be sure to follow your OWN instincts (which, from what I’ve read of you so far, are EXCELLENT!)

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